Britney Spears' Mom Has So Many Regrets

When you're a parent, no doubt your life seems inextricably entwined with your child's life. Their hopes are your hopes. Their disappointments are your disappointments. Their sex-filled relationship with Justin Timberlake and scandalous brushes with drugs are your tickets to moving millions of copies of your cheeseball memoir Through The Storm.

Well, that last one only applies if you're Lynne Spears, owner of the womb that once housed Britney and other, lesser Spearses:

From the (always-reliable) UK Sun:

TROUBLED BRITNEY SPEARS began boozing aged 13, lost her virginity at 14, then started taking drugs at 15, according to a shocking tell-all book by her mum….The sensational revelations were leaked last night ahead of publication of Lynne's memoir, titled Through the Storm.

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Lynne, 53, tells how she regrets handing over control of Britney's career to managers and allowing her daughter to be promoted as a sex object in raunchy videos at such a young age.

It's understandable why giving up her managerial duties (and salary) would be such a huge regret for Lynne. But it's good to see she found a way to profit from it in the end. Using the private details of her daughter's first sexual experience to sell a book? Absolutely no regrets there!

After all, Lynne's previous two books had giant cover images of her daughter to sell copies:

On the cover of this one, it's just Lynne gazing out a window, counting her valuable, valuable regrets.

She's clearly thinking, "Hmm. I wonder if I should include the story of Britney's first period, or should I should save that for Through The Storm…Again. The Fog Rolls In And I'm Britney Spears' Mom?"