In general, there are several things new parents shouldn't put in a nursery: A hanging mobile made out of Ginsu knives, for one. Others include a life-size replica of the Boogeyman (with sound), a blanket made out of loaded AK-47s, or a copy of Paul Reiser's Babyhood.

But in the new issue of People magazine, fresh faced (underneath the layers and layers of make-up) new mom Christina Aguilera introduces another item that parents should never place in close proximity to their helpless, impressionable, sleeping infant: An 11-foot-tall statue of an angry, green crescent moon:


This statue can only have one of two effects: either Baby Aguilera will grow up constantly afraid that the moon will eat him, or he will become an astrologer in the hope of understanding that scary, celestial menace, the moon. Either way, it's probably not the best decorating choice.