Who ordered the middle-aged rock star? (Photo: Frazer Harrison/Getty Images)

After failing to secure his legacy by trademarking the devil horns gesture, Gene Simmons is going to make sure fans remember him by getting right in their faces—but only if they cough up $52,000 first. That’s all part of “The Vault Experience,” which was announced by press release today. If you’re a fan of Simmons’ solo work and can afford to put a hefty down payment on a house, you can pick up his new boxset for just $2,000 instead. The collection is a look at “The Demon’s colorful life, including never-before-released songs, photos, stories and collectible items.”

Okay, so what does the other $50,000 get you? Simmons himself, at your doorstep, lugging the 38 lb. actual vault that holds the boxset, but hopefully not wagging his tongue at you while he does it (at the very least, an adult should be available to sign for the delivery, should he rant about hip-hop again). Simmons is prepared to travel around the world with his “True Confessions,” meeting and greeting his affluent (or, at least, very devoted) fans. Additionally, Vault purchases will get to “join a small group of other fans for ‘Songs and Stories’ from The Vault and a Q&A with Simmons.” There’s also a pre-pack including a T-shirt, golden ticket, and USB drive, but you have to order by December 5—you know, to get a jump on your holiday shopping.