Though we already cracked the case wide open last fall, authorities continue to be confused as to the identity of a mysterious jetpacker who’s reappeared over the skies of Los Angeles once again this week. This person, who is obviously evil French supervillain and one-man invasion force Franky Zapata, has been fairly quiet over the last few months, but returned on Wednesday evening to further baffle the FBI and air traffic controllers.
The Los Angeles Times tells us that a Boeing 747 pilot called in “a possible jetpack man in sight” near LAX just after 6:00 P.M. a couple of days ago. The “jetpack man” was seen “15 miles east of LAX at 5,000 feet altitude” according to an FAA spokesperson, leading to alerts phrased, in one case, as: “Use caution, the jetpack guy is back.” Another controller “asked a pilot, ‘Did you see a UFO?’” to which the pilot replied, “We were looking but we did not see Iron Man.”
Now, the FBI and FAA are back to their old tricks from last year, flushing away taxpayer money in a fruitless investigation that could be solved in moments by just picking up the phone and calling France. Others, unwilling to accept that we’re months away from fighting bloody sky battles with the European nation, have speculated that the object spotted last August, October, December, and once again this week couldn’t have been a jetpack. “The altitudes reported by the pilots would be hard to maintain with a jetpack’s fuel capacity,” the article explains. “It’s possible the pilots misidentified balloons or drones ....”
Though this is a pretty convincing argument—especially after you check out the possibility that LA’s “jetpack man” is just a mannequin attached to a drone—we remain frustrated that the most likely hypothesis continues to be ignored. Whatever. Let them think what they want. Just take our advice and start your French classes, everyone. It’s obvious now that the hoverboard supervillain will meet no real opposition by the time he leads his battle fleet to the White House.
[via Boing Boing]
Send Great Job, Internet tips to firstname.lastname@example.org