The RoboBurger vending machine will see you now

New Jersey-based company spits in the face of god, offers hamburgers in a vending machine

By Reid McCarter  |  March 29, 2022 | 8:00pm
Aux Features Vending machine
The RoboBurger vending machine will see you now
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A plastic-looking robot hand serves a plastic-looking burger. Screenshot: Lifecarenews

Last year, Italy was forced to reckon with Mr. Go Pizza, a supposed affront to the nation’s culinary traditions that took the form of a cold, unfeeling pizza vending machine. Customers in Rome eagerly ate up Mr. Go’s output, but talked a lot of trash about the machine all the while seemingly concerned that it undermined something vital about how we approach food.

But that was in Rome. The latest fast food vending machine has been installed in New Jersey and if there was ever a land where burgers artlessly smushed together by a robot are going to catch on, why, we believe that place just might be the United States Of America.

RoboBurger, as the gleaming metal beast is called, has made its debut in Jersey City’s Newport Mall, sitting squat and proud and ready to take orders from any passersby. According to NorthJersey.com, RoboBurger is about 12-square feet in size, and takes inputs through a touch screen that flashes “Hello Human” while waiting to serve its fleshy customers. The machine excretes burgs that, by default, come topped with cheese, ketchup, and mustard, take “about six minutes” to make, and cost $6.99. The whole process looks like this.

CNET has also shown the robot in action, interviewed its creators, and performed a crucial taste test, too. While host Bridget Carey says the burger actually tastes pretty good due to the quality of the ingredients, unvarnished footage of the item her robot chef produces isn’t all that inspiring, at least looks-wise.

Still, the fact that the burger robot can operate around the clock and won’t judge you for drunkenly ordering far too much from it in the early hours of the morning is a definite benefit that can’t be ignored. For that purpose, if for no other, we welcome the arrival of the RoboBurger and its total inability to understand human shame.

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