Southpaw

It might be a hard pill for Cubs fans to swallow, but it’s the truth: Southpaw, the White Sox mascot, is pretty darn cool. The lime green monster has boundless energy come gametime, but also maintains one of the funniest and most charming Twitter accounts in town. That’s no joke, either. Whether he’s talking about haircuts, fooling around in the stadium, or dog day at the park, Southpaw (or the people behind Southpaw, if you will) has a pretty good handle on what it means to be not only a fan of a team, but a friend to a fan. As fans, The A.V. Club just had to know more about this cool dude, so we hit him up for an e-mail interview. Skeptics, this one’s for you.
The A.V. Club: How do you type your tweets? Do you have a special large-finger keyboard?
Southpaw: Oh, ho, ho it’s magic, you know.
AVC: Do you carry your phone around and tweet during the game? Shouldn’t you be paying attention?
S: Have you seen the size of my eyes? They are giant. I see a lot of things at once. It’s one of my special powers.
AVC: What’s your favorite part of tweeting?
S: I can’t talk. So tweeting gives me a voice. I get to express my love for the White Sox, air conditioning, and string cheese.
AVC: Air conditioning and string cheese, huh? How can you eat string cheese with such furry hands?
S: String cheese is fun to eat. Just peel and devour. Besides, a little extra fur never hurt anyone.