Dear Readers,

There comes a time every spring when one must break. It's called, coincidentally, Spring Break, and this year I'm observing it.

It's not going to be an MTV-style spring break, because that involves Florida, channeling your inner "Wooooo!," drunkenly yelling "I love you Tila!!" at Tila Tequila's shiny, round, inflatable head, filming her with a cell phone camera, and then posting the footage to YouTube.

I'm not doing that. Alternatively, an MTV-style spring break could also involve a time machine, Larry "Bud" Melman, and a prolonged Beastie Boys/Dating Game sketch with a random Justine Bateman appearance.

I'm not doing that either.

But I am going on vacation, so posts for the next few days will be like quick, short, pointy darts, as opposed to large, unwieldy, sharp machetes (or something).

Regularly scheduled hating will resume on May 1st.