This Week In Terrifying Hybrids

By Amelie Gillette | June 1, 2007 | 4:17pm

Aux Features Hater

This Week In Terrifying Hybrids 1. Vinny Chase + daddy issues + amazing levels of self-absorption + HBO's decision to let one of the guys from Entourage make a documentary = Shot In The Dark

The only way that

Most Popular

Shot In The Dark, Adrian Grenier's documentary about finding his estranged father, could be more self-absorbed is if Grenier had shot the whole thing by pointing a camera at a mirror while he gazed at himself in its shiny, shiny surface. As it stands, though, it still looks pretty bad.

According to this review, there is a moment in the film when he approaches two complete strangers on a street and asks them, "I'm going to find my father right now. What do you think about me doing that?" Uh, I'm guessing they don't really care, and certainly not enough to watch a whole documentary about it.

Still, that question could have been worse. He could have approached two complete strangers and said, "Hi. I'm Adrian Grenier. You might recognize me as the boring one on Entourage. I also played the boring boyfriend in The Devil Wears Prada. Anyway, I'm going to find my father now. What do you think about me, Adrian Grenier of TV's Entourage, doing that?"

Of course, that's all pretty much already implied. 2. Steven Spielberg + Mark Burnett + the desire to make a kind of half-assed American Filmmaker + the solid B students from your local community college film program = On The Lot

The awfulness of

On The Lot can be summed up in many ways–through Carrie Fisher's palpable strangeness, through the exceedingly cheap sets, through the mere presence of Brett Ratner. But the best way to truly grasp the horror of it is to watch one of the winning 1-minute comedy shorts from this past week, Getta Rhoom.

Retard humor executed in a slightly less terrible way than the 17 other directors–that's what On The Lot is all about! Ah, the magic of filmmaking (on a reality competition show)! 3. Survivor + Pirates Of The Carribean + Mark Burnett's desire to try and cash in on a 5-year-old trend = Pirate Master

Please, no one tell Mark Burnett about that whole Harry Potter thing that's been hugely popular for the past decade, or else we'll have to endure a CBS reality competition show set at a modern-day imaginary school for wizards.