This Week In Terrifying Hybrids

By Amelie Gillette | August 1, 2008 | 2:23pm

Aux Features Hater

This Week In Terrifying Hybrids

1. "I Kissed A Girl" – Jill Sobule + A desperate need for attention + a trend report from 1996 = Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl"

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Being a "bi" for attention: it's sooo hot right now! Actually, it was popular a while ago–see Girls Gone Wild, the Britney/Madonna kiss of aught three, practically every television show on Fox/the WB/CW since Ally McBeal–but the SongBot 3000 that wrote this song was a little slow in uploading all the trend data needed for the lyrics. The fact that a song about kissing a girl for attention can still be presented as "a controversial hit", thirteen years after a song by Jill Sobule about kissing a girl actually was a controversial hit indicates that something went wrong somewhere.

The best part about Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl," if there can be a best part about an overproduced broken jack-in-the-box tune laced with vocals that sound like someone trying to get a frog out of her throat, is the lyric, "I kissed a girl just to try it/ Hope my boyfriend don't mind it." So, you know, in case you thought she was an actual lesbian (gross!), don't worry: she has a boyfriend. Finally, Girls-Gone-Wild girls have an anthem besides, "Woooooo!"

2. Rock Of Love + a tour bus + a layer of depression so thick shame just bounces off of the surface + Porky's = A Rock Of Love 3 casting call

(via Mollygood)

This looks more like a warning than anything else. Beware the Rock Of Love Bus and the dark angry clouds (and blond extensions) it tows through the sky.

The Porky's NYC slogan ("Look away and retain your dignity. Also hot wings!") has never rung so true. It's almost as if the flyer is crying out for help.

3. Baby dolls + the misguided idea that making anything "gangsta" will make it funny + Overuse of the word "bling"+ general creepiness = Gangsta Babies

There are two kinds of people in this world: those who would find Gangsta Babies amusing, and those with a sense of humor. Still, the attention to detail is admirable:

Pookie: The green-eyed baller. But don't make him cranky…ya wouldn't like him when he's cranky. Featuring a thermal shirt, t-shirt, dew rag, ring, and pimped out pacifier necklace.

He even comes with his own rag with which to soak up the morning dew. How thug-dorable.