Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Watch Oprah make a grown man cry, simply for her own amusement

Oprah Winfrey, cerebral cortex bulging with barely contained power, has always been gifted in the art of controlling others’ emotions. Over and over in the years she hosted her daytime talkshow, a current would run through the air and just beneath her pleasant smile or understanding expression, something was transmitted. The guest, no matter how composed, would weep openly.

Appearing on The Late Late Show With James Corden, Oprah demonstrated her terrifying abilities once more, reminding the world that, even though her show’s multi-decade run may be over, her mastery of the psychic realms is as strong as ever.

Corden, foolish mortal that he is, tells Oprah that he worried that he wouldn’t be able to “make it through this interview without crying because you seem to have an unbelievable gift.” As fellow A Wrinkle in Time castmembers Reese Witherspoon and Mindy Kaling laugh (nervously of course, sensing the coming exercise of The Power), Oprah readies herself.


Though they look like two ordinary people, invisible tendrils extend from one brain to another, probing for weakness. Oprah tears down the weaker talkshow host’s defenses by saying simply that “every father has a dream for his children and his deepest regret in life will be if he doesn’t fulfill that dream for his children” and speaking the names of Corden’s kids. Corden, naturally, cries. Outside, a flock of birds falls to the pavement, feet clawing at the skies and blood running from their eyes.

The audience laughs and applauds, hoping to appease Oprah so that she will not turn on them. It’s a good thing they did. We’ve never seen the full extent of Oprah’s psychic talents and nobody can be quite sure just how terrifying their use may be.

Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com

Contributor, The A.V. Club. Reid's a writer and editor who has appeared at GQ, Playboy, and Paste. He also co-created and writes for videogame sites Bullet Points Monthly and Digital Love Child.

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