Today, in “Well, that was probably inevitable” news: Joe Rogan has COVID. The stand-up comic, podcaster, and running contender for the shockingly packed “Guy who makes us say ‘God, that’s a bummer’ while watching Newsradio” stakes announced his diagnosis on Instagram today, linking it to a show cancellation in Nashville this week.
Rogan says he began experiencing symptoms on Saturday night, at which point he quarantined from his family and began taking “all kinds of meds” to attempt to treat the disease. Does that include the horse paste? You know it includes the horse paste, given that Rogan’s entire ethos towards the many things he cheerfully admits, weekly and to millions of people, to not knowing a goddamn thing about is just to say “Yes, and!” to everything. (It’s a bit like if Del Close had started a medical school, instead of an improv class.) And so Rogan “threw the kitchen sink” at his infection: “Monoclonal antibodies, ivermectin, Z-Pak, prednisone, everything. I also got an NAD drip and a vitamin drip and I did that three days in a row.” Which is, you know, the sort of thing you can (and will) do when you have vast amounts of money derived from your job of treating the vast array of human opinions on medical science as a buffet to indiscriminately consume.
For what it’s worth, Rogan (who previously got in not-trouble—because how are you going to punish Joe Rogan—for saying young healthy people didn’t need the vaccine) says he now feels “great,” and that his condition has steadily improved since a rough day on Sunday. And we, for one, can’t wait to see what effect this sobering brush with the realities of the pandemic will have on the massively successful podcast host, who will definitely not begin recommending that his listeners also walk down to the human medical health/veterinary supply aisle and begin shoving all available objects into their mouths and veins in order to combat the deadly disease.
Rogan finished his video by offering a “wonderful, heartfelt thank you to modern medicine for pulling me out of this so quickly and so easily,” which is a pretty serious “Fuck you” to all the veterinarians who contributed to his success.