Based on their latest cover, here's a short list of who Rolling Stone thinks Barack Obama is:



—The totally awesome, glowing, superhero/savior spawn of Jesus and Superman

—The radioactive president of America's dreams

—A dewy Venus, majestically stepping forth from a serene ocean mist, but, like also a guy who's running for president.

—The late-90s sitcom character, Teen Angel.

—Not just the president of the ShinySuit 3000 Club For Men, but also a client.

—Zeus for a new age.

—Some kind of space hero, or whatever

—Mr. Cloudo, President of Heaven

This cover is a grand gesture on Rolling Stone's part, because even if Obama loses, he can hold this issue in his (blessed) hands and know that he will always be President of the pretty cloud that sits in the middle of their art director's imagination.

Actually, they showed a lot of restraint here. There are no cherubs, or halos, or harps, or gold-tipped scrolls passed from the hand of God directly to Obama's open palm or anything.