While the world debates the need to regulate experiments in artificial intelligence technology, wondering at what point a race for increasingly sophisticated AI models could spiral out of control, we at The A.V. Club believe we have already identified the appropriate stopping point for AI development: Computer-generated videos of celebrities eating spaghetti.
As tweeted by Magus Wazir, a user who goes by u/chaindrop posted a ModelScope Text To Video creation that sees actor/musician/secret pasta monster Will Smith tearing through plates of spaghetti to the r/StableDiffusion subreddit. In just 20 seconds, we bear witness to various eras of Smith demonstrating a need for noodles so profound that it appears to torment him, his face melting and features transforming as he devours Lovecraftian spaghetti tendrils by fork or hand.
This video alone is a clear demonstration that experiments in AI technology have reached their apex. But, to further drive the point home, another Reddit user has instructed their computer to show us Scarlett Johansson taking a similarly Dali-esque approach to spaghetti dining.
Watch Johansson consume the spaghetti—watch her hair temporarily become spaghetti—and know that we, as a species, have reached a landmark in our evolution that needn’t be explored any further. For god’s sake, we can now use AI to show us sitting American presidents eating wavering plates of noodles in the White House. What else could AI technology be used for beyond this? What conceivable need does our species have for any application of this computer science other than celebrity spaghetti videos?
Let’s stop now. There is no further use for AI. It will not make us worthwhile art and entertainment. It will not replace our actors and broadcasters. It is purely a tool that allows us to catch seasick glimpses of famous people eating stuff.
Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com