Are you afraid of The Walking Dead?
Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Sunday, August 23rd. All times are Eastern. All times are fleeting. All times are coming to an end–unless they’re not?
Top pick
Fear The Walking Dead (AMC, 9 p.m.): A rustling in the air, faint but familiar, scrapes along the edge of the televisual landscape. We pause our frantic typing (though not the Rihanna song accompanying it), look around, and take a startled breath. We always knew it would come to this, but somehow, we’re still surprised to be here. But as with The Walking Dead, the end of the road can actually be the beginning of the road can subsequently be a brand new series, and so as Josh Modell readies himself for this 90 minute premiere and weekly reviews, we tap out of What’s on Tonight once and for all.
We are the walking dead.
Fear us.
And so we walk through the valley of the shadow of death (or something significantly less dramatic since we’re not actually dead or dying) (…so far as we know)
Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Adult Swim, midnight): Just as we convince ourselves we’re still on this mortal coil, we run smack into a show just as it’s gasping its last breath. “Who will mourn the series finale of Aqua Teen Hunger Force?!” we cry as we fall to our knees in despair, only to have Kevin Johnson help us back up by reminding us that the internet is a vast place with plenty of Aqua Teen Hunger Force fans, including the incomparable Patti Fucking Smith. Also, despite our best efforts, not everything is actually about us.
WWE SummerSlam (WWE Network, 7 p.m.): As if he can hear our unsteady heart, Jon Stewart (formerly of The Daily Show With Jon Stewart) emerges from the mists. He reaches up—we’re sure to adjust his tie with a Scooby Doo-esque exclamation—but then he just rips it right off and shrugs. “Dude, relax,” he says. “Life’s… well, it’s fuckin’ weird. I had people writing eulogies for me for weeks, and now I’m already back on TV hosting WWE’s SummerSlam like it’s what I meant to do all along.”
We blink into the darkness, our stomach twisting into a knot. Something’s not quite right. “Wait—was hosting WWE’s SummerSlam what you meant to do all along?!”
But it’s too late. Jon Stewart’s already receding into the ether, grinning his signature shit-eating grin, ne’er to return until he plays out his Bruce Springsteen fantasies on Lip Sync Battle, probably.
Vicious (PBS, 10:30 p.m.): We’re grateful to see Sirs Derek Jacobi and Ian McKellan at this point, since our trek through this wilderness was getting pretty bleak there for a minute. This second season premiere even introduces Frances de la Tour as their “feisty best friend Violet,” which sounds straight up delightful, but then we notice Game Of Thrones’ Iwan Rheon lurking in the secondary cast shadows and make a break for it. We know he’s a wonderful actor thanks to Misfits, but we’d like as much distance between us and the Bolton family as possible, please.
Ballers (HBO, 10 p.m.): It’s so cold. We don’t know where to turn next as our mind whirs with all the possible ways to describe death (we’re already running low, we really didn’t think this one through), until Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson bursts through the silence. He doesn’t even have to say anything; his mere presence is enough to shatter the gloom, even if just for a minute. Still, he knows his time here is brief, since Kyle Fowle wraps up his coverage of his show’s first season with tonight’s finale, and so as quickly as he appeared, he’s gone.