Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Call Me By Your Name, but it's Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito in love now

Call Me By Your Name is a beautiful film. But, as tender as its story of first love may be, as gorgeous as its northern Italian setting and Sufjan Stevens score turned out, and as well as its main characters Elio and Oliver were cast, there’s always room for improvement.

Looking to the immense chemistry between Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito as an obvious source of inspiration, Funny Or Die has graced us with a reworking of the Call Me By Your Name trailer that wisely replaces Armie Hammer and Timothée Chalamet with the duo so nice Ivan Reitman had to work with ‘em twice.

Scenes from 1988's Twins, including a shirtless, glistening Schwarzenegger standing in front of an open-mouthed DeVito (“You look like you’re ready to explode!” DeVito says in wonder), play out beneath the aching melody of Sufjan Stevens’ Oscar-nominated “Mystery of Love.” The peach scene features, too, with a little bit of help from an It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia clip and, in case you hoped it wouldn’t happen, there’s a Junior stinger to round everything out.


Though the aptly titled “Call Me By Your Twins” isn’t the first creative reworking of the trailer we’ve seen, it may be the best. Instead of having to choose between two visions of love, we now have both in one place. Instead of being forced to imagine the original novel’s characters through Luca Guadagnino’s cinematic interpretation, we can watch for ourselves an alternative version with equally impressive actors.

With news of both a Twins and Call Me By Your Name sequel in our future, let’s hope for even more overlap between these timeless films. The world deserves a full melding of Arnie “Hammer” Schwarzenegger and Danée DeChalamet.

Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com

Contributor, The A.V. Club. Reid's a writer and editor who has appeared at GQ, Playboy, and Paste. He also co-created and writes for videogame sites Bullet Points Monthly and Digital Love Child.

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