Ben Stein is many things: former Nixon speech writer, beloved dull teacher caricature, the guy holding the beach ball that's supposed to represent your eye in that Visine commercial. But throughout his career Stein has long been a champion of that great, thoroughly human pastime, bottomless stupidity.

It was Stein, after all, who was indirectly responsible for Jimmy Kimmel's rise from Win Ben Stein's Money sidekick, to co-host of the proudly moronic The Man Show, to host of the only late night show to ever broadcast from a moving bus. It was Stein who, as a judge on America's Most Smartest Model, consistently fought to keep the contestants with the emptiest brains and most plastic parts on the show—contestants who had no hope of ever becoming either smart people, or models. And, of course, it was Stein who dripped water on a red beach ball to teach us about eye drops. Clearly, he has an long simmering love for idiots and the idiotic things that they do and say, which maybe explains his latest project, Expelled, a documentary about how Creationism should be seriously considered by scientists. Really.

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Well, if Ben Stein thinks that Creationism, ahem, Intelligent Design is the new punk rock, who are we to argue? Oooh, it's all so dangerous, the way these professors and creationists try to shoehorn religion into science. And science is kept in a box? The man is always trying to keep things in boxes! Why didn't someone tell me this before? Fuck you, science. You're just a tool of The System. I'm going to listen to the judge from America's Most Smartest Model from now on—he'll teach me how to be a rebel.

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