There are approximately two (2) people in the entire world who conceivably deserve $50 billion: Beyoncé, and Dolly Parton. But other than them, we can’t think of any instance in which that amount of genuinely inconceivable wealth shouldn’t be interpreted as a crime against humanity.
That said, we wouldn’t hold it against the Average Joe if, upon stumbling upon an extra $50 billion in their checking account one morning, they suddenly absconded to a Caribbean nation with nebulous tax laws. That’s recently what happened to a couple in Baton Rouge, Louisiana... well, the first part about an extra $50B in the bank, not the absconding part. They actually did the “right” (read: boring) thing and returned all of it.
As Newsweek reports, the James family was somewhat surprised to find the approximate wealth of Michael Bloomberg suddenly in their bank account one morning after attempting to transfer money to their daughter. “It was crazy just to see what it looks like because I’ve never seen that many zeros in my life,” Darren James told BR Proud. “I wasn’t going to keep it. The thing that was most baffling was, we don’t even know where it came from. We don’t know anybody with that kind of money.”
After screenshotting the ridiculous amount, the couple informed their bank, which then took another four days to rectify the error... which is kind of a jackass move on the bank’s part, given that that’s a long time to stare forlornly at life-changing wealth that technically isn’t yours. No explanation has been provided as to how so much money suddenly found its way into the James’ bank account, although it’s probably safe to say it was some mundane computer glitch or the like.
For those shaking their fists at their computer screens while vowing that they would have done things a little differently if $50 billion showed up on their account, Newsweek notes a recent, similar situation in which a person attempted to do just that: Kelyn Spadoni (also of Louisiana, oddly enough) recently found an extra $1.2 million in their possession, and quickly diverted some of that windfall into a different account to purchase a new car and house. Authorities were quick to notice, however, and arrested Spadoni in April, since that technically counts as theft of property lost by mistake and/or receiving stolen property...
Which is sorta horseshit given, y’know, everything about Wall Street.
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