How To Tell The Paparazzi To Fuck Off: 1. Make a very small, crude sign that reads "Fuck Off." 2. Flip them the bird (have your lilliputian wife do the same). 3. Create a sense of spacial dysphoria by positioning yourself a good 7 feet away from your wife, and in front of a background made up almost entirely of vertical lines. 4. If possible, grow a bushy beard, and have your wife wear a child's bathing suit. 5. Wear matching scowls and oversized sunglasses. Most celebrities will only attempt one or two of these suggestions. But on a recent vacation, Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams managed to do all five at once. The end result? He looks like a hulking, sunbathing version of the Unabomber, she looks like a petulant 7 year-old, and no one is coming within 20 feet of either of them.

This photo is so strangely compelling. It's like they created their own optical illusion. I keep crossing my eyes and staring at the center, waiting for an airplane, or a creepy clown face to appear in 3-D.

Advertisement