Kid Rock—“musician,” Waffle House brawler, failed politician, and proprietor of the go-to eatery for incontinent Nazis everywhere—spouted some super homophobic shit this weekend, if you can believe it. After a couple days’ worth of getting called out for his hateful, presumably Jim Beam and Monster-fueled tirade, Kid Rock’s official spokesman took to Twitter to set the record straight on the matter.
Content Warning: homophobic slurs below
“If Kid Rock using the word f***** offends you, good chance you are one,” Bob Richie informed media outlets via Twitter yesterday afternoon. “Either way, I know he has a lot of love for his gay friends and I will have a talk with him. Have a nice day.”
Mr. Richie presumably then put down his phone, turned towards the nearest graffiti-scarred bar bathroom mirror, and had a stern discussion with himself about the history, evolution, and normalization of homophobic hate speech. Why? Because, in a Keyser Söze twist, Bob Richie was Kid Rock himself all along. Gasp!
Anyway. We assume Kid Rock tweeted this as some half-assed, tongue-in-cheek alter-ego joke, which we’re sure his ever-dwindling fan base will eat up as rabidly as they do his *checks Kid Rock’s Big Ass Honky Tonk & Rock ‘n’ Roll Steakhouse menu* bourbon butter toffee banana cake. For the rest of us, we guess we’ll just have to make peace with the fact that Kid Rock/Bob Richie will continue barreling through his D-list career as Ted Nugent’s heir apparent, occasionally flanked by his approximately two “gay friends” who don’t mind the intermittent usage of casual, violent slurs.
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