For more than a month now, former Aquaman Adrian Grenier has once again trained his searching eyes on the ocean, the palatial beachfront home to all his sea-bros. And much as he once watched out for Jerry Ferrara in the early seasons of Entourage, Grenier has a soft spot in the heart area of his V-neck for another large, unloved creature—the world’s loneliest whale—whom he hopes to put in a movie, like you do for your friends. Now Grenier has received some last-minute help from Leonardo DiCaprio, his sea-bro on land.
Responding to the sound of Grenier’s frantic splashing, DiCaprio came through in the Kickstarter’s waning hours to pledge $50,000 to 52: The Search For The Loneliest Whale, a Grenier-produced documentary that will attempt to find the “52 Hertz Whale.” More than just Nags Head, North Carolina’s favorite alternative-rock band (mostly covers, few originals), the “52 Hertz Whale” is the somehow even sadder story of a whale discovered in 1989 by the late bio-acoustician Dr. William Watkins, who named it for the unusually high, extremely rare frequency of its calls. The frequency of its voice is so high, in fact, most whales refuse to respond to it, while others are actively driven away. It’s what led Watkins to name his unhappy find the Lonely Whale, since Kristin Chenoweth wasn’t famous yet.
Here’s the sound of the 52-hertz whale on a loop for 12 straight hours, which you can use to pretend you’re also a lonely whale adrift at the bottom of the ocean, instead of whatever bullshit they wanted you to do at work today.
Now Adrian Grenier’s own mournful lowing has been answered by Leonardo DiCaprio, with the actor, environmentalist, and guy who had some money left over from his entertaining models budget making it possible for Grenier and director Joshua Zeman to find the Lonely Whale, then tag and monitor him. They also plan to study how ocean noise pollution might be creating even more lonely whales, who can then compete to see who’s the loneliest. “My only friend is the dude from Entourage!” the original Lonely Whale will say, and the others will float there sympathetically.
Or, maybe not. Sadly, Zeman tells Deadline it’s not actually their intention to help the Lonely Whale communicate with other whales—meaning that, while he may soon have lots of fans of his movie up here on the surface, the Lonely Whale is unlikely to make any new sea-bros of his own. And as Grenier can tell you, being a movie star doesn’t mean anything if you can’t have a bunch of friends there with you to swim in your wake and share in your krill. So look for Grenier’s next philanthropic gesture: tying anchors to Kevin Dillon and Kevin Connolly, then tossing them into the sea.