Netflix’s stupid holiday movie extravaganza continues with the trailer for Let It Snow, which is apparently based on a novel by John Green of The Fault In Our Stars fame and yet there are no awkward scenes involving children making out in front of a hallowed cultural landmark. More importantly, the trailer for Let It Snow features exactly zero instances of elephants or trips to Zambia, instantly making it 100% less interesting than Holiday In The Wild—aka the movie in which Kristin Davis gets her groove back in Africa with Rob Lowe’s abs, but also it’s Christmas.
Based on the trailer alone, Let It Snow is apparently about a group of unsupervised teenaged children who get real horny for each other (but like, in an appropriate sense because it’s Christmas) at some sort of ski resort while the kid from the new Spider-Man movies plays the exact same character, but with an interest in DJ’ing and fewer (read: zero) romantic prospects—but maybe he’s asexual so that’s okay? That one girl from Santa Clarita Diet has feelings for a waffle waitress, Kiernan Shipka is embroiled in an extremely basic rom-com plot with her male friend (who is shaving his nipples because... it’s Christmas?), and Isabela Merced (the one who played Dora in that movie) and Shameik Moore (the one who played the animated Spider-Man) appear to have gotten lost on a nature walk 10 miles from everyone else. According to Netflix, however, this is the actual plot of Let It Snow, which arrives on November 8:
When a snowstorm hits a small midwestern town on Christmas Eve, a group of high school seniors find their friendships and love lives colliding thanks to a stranded pop star, a stolen keg, a squad of competitive dancers, a mysterious woman covered in tin foil, and an epic party at the local Waffle Town. Come Christmas morning, nothing will be the same.
Yeah, literally none of that is in the trailer.