Does an episode that contains 45% old footage, 10% Heidi repetitions, 5% memories of Michael Kors' youth, 10% teasing the Fan Favorite™ award, and 30% bitchy Victorya or squinty Steven reaction shots count as a new Project Runway episode? I would say not really. Still, I watched it. And while it was mostly filler ("Do you have any questions for us, the judges?" is a new level of desperation) and dull questions/speculations (this truly was the most boring season of Project Runway yet. They even had to bring Michael, ahem, Mychael Knight back in as a guest just to have something to talk about.) there were a few revelations. Here they are, in no particular order:
1. Everyone who voted for the Fan Favorite™ award is 14 years old and/or in possession of an annoyingness shield. How else can you explain Christian winning in a landslide?
2. Jeffrey (from Season 3) is now Freddy Kruger.
3. Michael Kors at one time looked like a blond Richard Marx, or a gay male Rapunzel, just freed from the tower.
4. The judges sometimes write things like, "Blue" or "ugly," or "hate the skirt" on their cards. Oooooooh.
5. Squinty Steve: still squinty, more earthworm-like than I remembered.
6. Heidi Klum is a disciplined professional. Only years and years of modeling can teach you to sit there with blunt bangs directly in your eyes like that without brushing them away at every available opportunity.
7. Jillian does a pretty good Heidi Klum impression.
8. But when she's not doing that impression, she maybe has a speech impediment? I don't know. She sounds like she's holding about ten pennies under her tongue when she talks. Maybe it's the meds.