Hey, how long is Sons Of Anarchy overrunning this week?
Sons Of Anarchy (FX, 10 p.m.): Tonight’s episode is 90 minutes long, meaning it’s overrunning by 30 minutes. An entire extra half-hour feels a bit like just up and undoing the drawstring on one’s sweatpants after an especially big meal, and it’s probably about as unhealthy for all involved.
Elsewhere in TV Club
Later today, Marah Eakin will respond to whatever the hell that Slimed writer was blathering on about in that interview by examining just why kids’ programming like Nickelodeon benefits from diversity. It’s a shame that that’s still something that anyone needs to explain in 20-freaking-14, but Marah digs deeper to explain why this goes beyond simple political correctness. (Not that there’s anything wrong with political correctness, for the record.)
TV Club Classic
30 Rock (3 p.m.): Another all-time great character makes his debut this week, as Rip Torn makes his first appearance as Don Geiss, CEO of GE. Also this week features another episode with a Josh-centric plot, which feels kind of crazy. Erik Adams tried last week to imagine a world where Josh was 30 Rock’s breakout character, and he’s still picking little pieces of his mind up off of the floor.
What else is on?
About A Boy (NBC, 9:30 p.m.): Hey, this show is back for a second season! Without doing any research, I’m going to guess that automatically makes this the longest-running NBC sitcom of this decade. A second season is definitely some sort of milestone for star David Walton, considering the failure of previous starring roles like Perfect Couples, Bent, and something that was apparently called 100 Questions For Charlotte Payne but which I’m pretty sure was just some kind of elaborate TV Club fever dream. Those were known to happen back in 2010.
The Unexplained Files (Science, 10 p.m.): I had really hoped that a channel called Science would be about, you know, science, but I’ll admit this episode description makes me very, very wary: “A reform school allegedly haunted by shadow people is examined. Also: reports of miracles at Medjugorje.”Although now you mention it, I’m fascinated to know what the heck a shadow person is.
4th And Loud (AMC, 10 p.m.): In a season finale titled “Day Of Reckoning”—because what other title could you possibly give it?—arena football team owners and Kiss trademark holders Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley face some tough decisions. Per the episode description: “In the Season 1 finale, the team makes a final playoff push and the coaching staff find out whether they’ll return in 2015.” Please say this ends with Gene Simmons making himself the coach of an arena football team, please say this ends with Gene Simmons making himself the coach of an arena football team…
White Collar Brawlers (Esquire TV, 10 p.m.): Just in case you thought the continuing chronicles of Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley owning a football team would be the most self-consciously macho season on tonight, this show about office workers settle their differences by pummeling each other in a boxing ring starts its second season. Tonight’s premiere ups the ante by making the fighters a pair of old frat brothers. I’m going to go ahead and guess there’s not really going to be anyone worth rooting for here.
Gosford Park (Flix, 8 p.m.): Maggie Smith! Michael Gambon! Clive Owen! Helen Mirren! Derek Jacobi! Richard E. Grant! Kelly Macdonald! Charles Dance! Tom Hollander! Emily Watson! Kristin Scott Thomas! Stephen Fry! (I’m still only, like, halfway through this thing’s cast list. Wait, what’s a Ryan Phillippe?)
Armageddon (HBO 2, 6:50 p.m.): You know, after listing out all the Gosford Park actors, I now really want to see what these movies would look like if you swapped the casts. I bet if you had Maggie Smith and Michael Gambon using nukes to blow up an asteroid you wouldn’t have TV Guide calling this a “predictable adventure.” Seriously, that’s the first time I’ve seen TV Guide offhandedly dismiss a movie in its own capsule description. Where’s the journalistic objectivity, TV Guide!?
College Football: Louisiana-Lafayette at Texas State (ESPN, 8 p.m.): Why, pray tell, would we recommend you watch a Tuesday night Sun Belt game, and a fairly mediocre Sun Belt game at that? As always, the trick to enjoying even the most trivial college football game is to appreciate the lovable, ultra-intense lunatics who coach the teams. So just know that this game pits Ragin’ Cajuns coach Mark Hudspeth, the strongest coach alive, against Texas State’s fearless leader Dennis Franchione, who when coach of Texas A&M once staged a fake hostage crisis in the middle of a team meeting in what really, truly has to be the most psychotic motivational ploy of all time. I mean, if there’s something out there that can beat that, I’m not sure I want to know about it.
In case you missed it
Sleepy Hollow: Hey, you think anything absolutely, gloriously insane happened in tonight’s Sleepy Hollow? I’d say the only way to find out is to read Zack Handlen’s review, but I feel you can probably just safely assume at this point. Eh, you should probably go ahead and read Zack’s review anyway.
