In the independent-film world, there's the ongoing
phenomenon of the "calling-card movie," a feature that exists almost solely to
catapult its director to Hollywood, not as an end in itself. So
congratulations, Splinter director Toby Wilkins, you've just won an opportunity to
make The Grudge 3.
To be fair, Wilkins' indie horror film does have some virtues: It's taut and
relentlessly economical at 82 minutes, its creature design and visual effects
are both convincing and sparingly employed, and the mostly single-location
setting is admirably resourceful. But the film lacks that spark of originality
or humor or thematic resonance that might have elevated it from forgettable
genre time-passer to something more lasting.
It's unfortunate, because Splinter initially seems like a clever
attempt to cross-pollinate the hostage thriller with the creature feature,
creating tension on both ends. Paulo Costanzo (late of TV's Joey) and Jill Wagner star as an awkward
romantic pair; he's a brainy doctoral student in biology (i.e.: a wimp) and
she's conventionally attractive, brassy, and assertive. (Perhaps they met in
the world of Revenge Of The Nerds V.) Intending to spend their anniversary under the stars,
they're carjacked by another couple (Shea Whigham and Rachel Kerbs) and forced
to drive into the night. After getting a flat, they encounter what appears to
be porcupine roadkill, but it's alive and its quills (or splinters) are infectious
and deadly.
For most of the second half, the action shifts to a
gas-station convenience store, where the principals lock themselves away while
the prickly creatures lurk outside. They try to come up with
solutions—Costanzo advocates something brainy, Wagner something
brawny—and eventually face a big, violent showdown. Some of the effects
have a charming, Evil Dead 2-like quality, but little of the attendant wit, and the
hostage subplot gets consumed entirely by the standard-issue mayhem. There's potential
for a lot more excitement in Splinter, but Wilkins seems content just to bring it across the
finish line.