Today in "what Shia LaBeouf is doing instead of Transformers": playing a 20-foot man-child, getting beaten up in Vancouver

The script, written by Kenan himself, concerns a woman who escapes a series of bad relationships by moving back home with her brother, only to discover that there’s a giant guy next door who looks like Shia LaBeouf, and that he also has a giant heart and so on, plus [PG-13 allusion to his genitals and/or bowel movements]. LaBeouf, of course, recently declared that his maxim for choosing all future movie roles is “What Would Warren Beatty Do?” and apparently decided that, in this case, Warren Beatty would be the CGI-enhanced thing that other actors are gazing up at for a change.

Also, in “what Shia LaBeouf is doing”: Getting punched repeatedly by, in TMZ’s words, “a shirtless, hairy-bellied man” outside a bar in Vancouver. As you can see from the video below, LaBeouf reacted to the pummeling with the sort of bubbling, pugilistic rage that is mentioned a lot of his magazine profiles, only to be held back by a friend urging him to “lay low,” and eventually find comfort in a random Vancouverite proffering hugs—which may or may not be a trap. After all, between this and what happened to DJ Qualls, Vancouver is basically becoming the Gaza Strip in the growing Canadian war on American actors.