First off, allow me to apologize for the extreme tardiness of this review. Please know that I was not shirking my most sacred ANTM watching-then-writing duties. On Wednesday night, my DVR chose to commit suicide rather than tape the new episode, leaving me twitching and shaking and searching the shadiest corners of the Internet (well, YouTube) looking for a hit of Baby Topanga, McWig, Samanthduh (Get it?), and twitchy, shaky Marjorie. Unfortunately, until last night all I could find were clips of some of the girls on Big Bang Theory. But today, someone finally posted the episode to YouTube, sparing me the humiliation of watching the re-broadcast tonight on the CW. (I win after all, Tyra.) So here we are. I promise it won't happen next week when either Baby Topanga (probably) or McWig (long-shot) wins.
I'm doubly sorry because this week's episode was a pretty entertaining one as far as ANTM episodes go. Not only did it feature the three faces of Marjorie (twitchy, "flat," and drunk), but Paulina schooled the girls in the proper way to sniff herring, and Tyra called Anne Shoket of Seventeen "sexy" out of pity. But what really made this episode entertaining was the addition of a rare ingredient for ANTM: Dudes. More specifically vaguely creepy, shaggy haired, deep-v-neck-wearing Dutch boat dudes.
When was the last time we saw an unsanctioned boy/girl get together on America's Next Top Model? Usually, the addition of any young men into the formula is in the form of photo shoots, or commercial tapings, with little to no extra-curricular activities. It's always very model-tested, Tyra-approved. The last time I can remember anything resembling model/dude social interaction was the season/cycle where the challenge winner's prize was a "romantic" double faux-date. (Your prize? An awkward dinner!)
But this time around, Tyra had no hand in the planning of this rendezvous. Instead it was Marjorie, the most socially inept of the girls, who was orchestrating the model/dude social interaction. Empowered by her (frankly inexplicable) win of the who-can-kiss-Mark-Vanderloo-convincingly-after-running-on-a-treadmill challenge, and energized by the experience of wasting 10,000 perfectly good dollars at G-star, Marjorie was looking to celebrate her newfound happy awkwardness, as opposed to her nervous awkwardness. So she called up the only guys she knows in the Netherlands who have also been screened by Bankable productions, invited them over, and told them to bring wine. Naturally, they obliged. But since Marjorie is apparently the only one of the girls who drinks, she was also the only one of the girls who played truth-or-dare (with kissing!), and who ended up fully clothed in the hot tub with a dude named Bernard proposing to her.