Further Adventures In Casting Calls

From the wilds of reality TV casting:

MTV and Academy Award winner Jamie Foxx have teamed up with one of the Creators/Executive Producers of ROCK OF LOVE & FLAVOR OF LOVE, for the next hit reality TV show "FROM G's to GENTS"

I've always thought that Jamie Foxx's natural career progression would be Booty Call, Ray, Oscar win, release of the R&B; album Unpredictable, release of the R&B; album Hot Tub, Academy Award (These Are The Words I'm Sayin' To You), followed by the launch of Academy Award Winner: The Fragrance (musky ego with notes of ugh). But this just goes to show you: no one can predict Jamie Foxx's next move. One day, he's a wannabe R. Kelly in showers of dollar bills, the next day he's a wannabe Mo'Nique hosting a male version of Charm School. Will Jamie's Oscar statuette co-host? How will the possessions of G be made into sophisticated GENTS? What does it all mean? Wait…there are more questions:

Are you a hustler? Do you have the passion and skills, but can't catch a break? Is your self-worth measured by the number of fights you've won, girls you've slept with, or weight of bling around your neck?

More questions for potential contestants: Are you unencumbered by dignity and self-worth? Does your definition of "Gentleman" include the word "classy"? Do you ever use the word "bling" and, if so, are you Mitt Romney? Do you accept Jamie Foxx into your life as your personal style and classiness savior?

"From G's to Gents" will take 15 young "G's" and polish them up. Taking lessons in everything from Style and Grace, Etiquette, Chivalry, and Business Skills, the men will LEARN that with the right tools every G has the ability to be a true Gentleman – and a real shot at finding success.

This casting notice has more unneccessary capitalization than an Emily Dickinson poem, but still, sounds interesting. So it's like My Fair Thug? Certainly Professor Foxx has more gentlemanly lessons to impart to his wiling pupils. What about Ray Charles Impersonations, or Sunglasses Sophistication, or Dignity and Poise at Promotional Appearances?

The Stakes: The G that makes it to the end of the competition will win a large cash prize and the opportunity to make their dream job and lifestyle a reality!

True. But only if your dream job and lifestyle are MTV reality show winner who dresses like Jamie Foxx.