Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Further Adventures In Movie Making

From Variety:

Screen Gems has teamed with Maxim magazine to set up the pitch "Virginity Rocks," with Melissa Carter ("Talk of the Town") to pen the script…

Pic will be released as "Maxim's Virginity Rocks," and it's the third that has been set up with a division of the mag designed for randy lads.

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I think "randy lads" here is code for "guys too young to buy actual pornography and/or guys who enjoy features like 'The World's Gnarliest Gnarly Things' and "Check Out This Awesome Hovercraft!'" Still, the message is clear: Maxim is set to become for lowbrow movies about dudes gettin' some, what National Lampoon is for lowbrow comedies that involve Chevy Chase, Ryan Reynolds, or dorms. In other words, Maxim is set to become a rubber stamp on movie posters that will read like either a giant red flag (to normal people), or a giant green neon sign flashing, 'Watch this drunk, dude! The boobs look even bigger!' (to Maxim subscribers). But Virginity Rocks seems like an unlikely title for the first film put out by a magazine whose subscribers are desperately trying to forget the fact that they are virgins. What's the movie about?

Story revolves around a gorgeous transfer student who clings to her virginity and gets all the promiscuous girls in school to abstain from sex; in response, the popular guys ask the school stud to try to bed the poster girl and ending her "virginity rocks" campaign.

Oh, so the movie's actually about a "stud" gettin' some–that's something that Maxim readers can almost certainly relate to, or at least pay $10 to pretend to relate to because their parents cancelled the cable, and they've never heard of the Internet, and there is no other way for them to consume vague depictions of the sex act. But what about the other two Maxim movies? Will those films give Maxim readers the opportunity to see girls, possibly in bikinis?

Screen Gems also has set with Maxim "Fired Up," a comedy Will Gluck is writing and will direct, about two horny guys who attend a cheerleading camp, and "Mardi Gras," a comedy written by Josh Heald about three college seniors who try to sow their wild oats in New Orleans.

A movie about the kind of girls that every Maxim reader knows are the hottest, cheerleaders, and a movie about wild oat sowin' on Bourbon Street, the street paved with boobs? It's almost too good to be true! Or, you know, too stupid to be real.