There are certain famous people you should never hear speak: models, athletes, various professional inhabitors of tabloids–mute celebrities who exist on runways, or soccer fields, or underneath captions like, "What was she thinking?!?" and other places that are thankfully far, far away from microphones. To see any one of them open their mouth and make a sound is deeply unsettling.
One of these people, of course, is Mary-Kate Olsen. I always thought that, instead of a normal, human voice, Mary-Kate Olsen would emit a kind of high-pitched beeping, because naturally that's the kind of sound that a small pile of clothes in the shape of Cousin It would make.
I certainly never expected her to sound like a Valley girl who has borrowed T-Pain's vocodor. Still, as the following clip from Weeds illustrates, that's kind of what she sounds like. Also, she's surprisingly convincing at playing a complete stoner weirdo:
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