Long before Mountain Dew—sorry, sigh, MTN DEW—positioned itself as the go-to soda for unholy flavor combinations, cola heists, obnoxious branding campaigns, and reductive socio-economic class comparisons, it was simply yet another fizzy drink concocted by people looking for something to mix with their bathtub hooch... but that was 81 years ago. A lot has changed since then. Of course, we would never subscribe to the reactionary, simplistic “good ol’ days” mindset, but then again:
Please welcome MTN DEW FLAMIN’ HOT to the national discourse. “The 81-year-old beverage brand is no stranger to pushing flavor boundaries and FLAMIN’ HOT’ is no exception,” reads PepsiCo’s official press release, explaining that its new, limited edition soda flavor will combine “the sweet, citrus DEW with a new spicy goodness.” Their phrasing, not ours.
To help hawk its “We’re Old But Still Know What ‘Fuccboi’ Means!” angle,
Mountain Dew MTN DEW also enlisted older “granfluencers” including Baddie Winkle and Granny Coy Bundy to promote the limited-edition carbonated diarrhea formula. Winkle, from our research, was roughly 12 years old when Mountain Dew first hit store shelves. Ms. Bundy is apparently only 47, which makes us feel many an emotion on the subjects of ageism, social media influencer culture, consumerism—none of which are particularly healthy or palatable.
...Much like we imagine MTN DEW FLAMIN’ HOT will be when it becomes available for a limited time via “the virtual shelves of the DEW Store” beginning on August 31.
We certainly aren’t surprised to see yet another junk food concoction consciously designed to resemble a late-night college freshman stoner brainstorming session, but the choice in PR angle is certainly one worth examining a bit further, if only to appease our morbid curiosity regarding the odd alliance of garbage drink industry and senior citizen influencers.
More power to these women for racking up those endorsement deals, of course, but there’s still something vaguely uncanny and Lynchian to the whole campaign that makes somewhat skeptical of the endeavor... or, at the very least, makes us wonder what kinds of decisions we will make in our own twilight years.
Apropos of nothing, you should watch Some Kind of Heaven, by the way.
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