The following trailer for the upcoming Richard Gere/Diane Lane beach romance blowout, Nights In Rodanthe, reveals that the movie is rated PG-13 for one reason, and one reason only: "Some Sensuality." How much sensuality is "some sensuality"? According to the four minute trailer, Some Sensuality = 1 Richard Gere stopping his car, getting out, and running to embrace Diane Lane + 3 dim shots of buttons being unbuttoned + 1 Richard Gere reaching out and gently caressing Diane Lane's mouth as they're standing on a pier + 1 allusion to Richard Gere's "dirty mind" by the obligatory sassy, strong black woman friend of Diane Lane + 1 pack of wild stallions running on the goddamn beach.



"I made that. It's to keep special things safe."

"Who keeps you safe?" Ugh. Gross, Richard Gere. Granted, Diane Lane walked right into that with her "here's where I keep my special things safe from all harm" comment, but you could have just said, "That's nice," and walked away.

I mean, sure, it's the epitome of romantic romance when Richard Gere turns the question around revealing his gentle desire the first time. But by the third ("I'm going to the mailbox to bring the mail in!" "Who's going to bring you in?") or fourth ("Hey, did you see that pack of wild stallions on the beach today?" "Who's going to see a pack of wild you on the beach?"), it's just annoying.