This Santa school outside of Detroit is making us feel a lot of feelings
Why do we have so many thoughts on the Charles W. Howard Santa Claus School?

The Charles W. Howard Santa Claus School, an annual three-day retreat located about 125-miles northwest of Detroit, is dedicated to teaching and reinforcing the ethos of Santa impersonation for both aspiring and veteran Kris Kringles.
The 84th annual gathering took place this past October, and 200 Santas and Mrs. Clauses were in attendance to learn tips like drinking cayenne-spiked hot tea for appropriately husky vocal tenors, how to deal with unruly tots, and the best ways to conduct Zoom Santa visits in the digital pandemic age.
“We’re here to build the Santa spirit in your hearts,” school director and 47-year Santa veteran, Tom Valent, told his students, as reported yesterday by The Washington Post. That all certainly sounds nice and festive… so why do we feel so unsettled by the yuletide dispatch?
The photos in the magazine profile are something else, that’s for sure. In theory, a room full of jolly St. Nicks should garner a smile on anyone’s face, right? And yet, we can’t help but linger on the images like the Santas chilling next to garbage cans during their smoke breaks, or the Santa sporting both tribal and Nascar tattoos.