The macabre, Sheen-shaped shadow that has enveloped CBS’ already-quite-dour Bataan death march of forced merriment Two And A Half Men will reach a natural nadir on the show’s season debut, as Deadline confirms the sitcom about penises and the different things you can do with them will indeed kick off with a two-part, Very Special Funeral for Sheen’s Charlie Harper character. Rumors that the show would abandon any lingering pretense to comedy and use the half-hour to essentially burn Sheen in effigy have abounded for weeks, although there’s no word on whether Sheen will actually die in a violent car crash while driving with two porn stars, calling into a sports radio show, and smoking crack, or that his last words will be a quote from Apocalypse Now—or whatever other revenge Chuck Lorre and Co. have been doodling for the last several months.