Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Who Does Jennifer Lopez Think She Is?

Judging by the cover art and title for her new album, here is a short list of who Jennifer Lopez thinks she is:

—A cyborg Narcissus

—J.Lo and Jenny From The Block at the same time!

—Wonder Woman and her twin sister battling in a laserdome

—A pair of angry Real Doll twins

—Mariah Carey in her video for "Heartbreaker," but, like, more purple.

—The star of an upcoming stage musical version of Face Off.

—A person who is real enough to face themself, you know?

—The world's campiest Gemini

—Every woman (Because who hasn't engaged in a stare-off with herself while drenched in shiny face highlighter–metaphorically speaking?)

—A soldier at war with herself (in a disco in outer space)

Jennifer Lopez is so many things to Jennifer Lopez–singer, perfume-maker, dancer, wife of El Cantante–so it's good to see that at least two of those things are angry at each other.


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