Kids seem like a fickle market, constantly changing up the things they like and dislike (one minute they like trucks, the next minute they’re over trucks and like Minecraft streamers, the next minute they’re over Minecraft streamers and are doing drugs in high school?!), but one property that has stood the test of time—at least over the last three or four years—has been Pinkfong’s “Baby Shark.” The RIAA says it’s the most popular children’s song ever, it’s been turned into a TV show, and now Deadline says it’s going to become a feature-length movie.
That was announced by Nickelodeon today, with the network also revealing that Cardi B and Offset are going to appear in an upcoming episode of the Baby Shark’s Big Show! cartoon as Sharki B and Offshark, two cool and popular shark-rap icons who just just released a hit new song called Seaweed Sway. Also: The pair’s real-life daughter, Kulture, will appear as a shark named Kulture Shark (as in “culture shock,” which is a weirdly clever pun if it was done on purpose). Oh, you think your mom is cool? Kulture’s mom is going to be on Baby Shark and she’s bringing the whole family. That’s much cooler than anything your mom does.
As for the movie, it’s obviously going to have to go bigger and better than Sharki B. Do kids movies based on existing cartoons still go for wild and unearned tonal shifts like they did in the ‘80s and ‘90s? We’re not saying everything needs to be like it was when we were kids, but the death of Optimus Prime left such a big impact on kids of that generation that it seems unfair to deprive the Baby Shark fans of a similar emotional hit. At the very least, get “Weird Al” in there to do a Devo homage. Kids still love Devo, right?