Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Further Adventures In Press Releases

From my inbox:

The Seinfeld Campus Tour is a 26-city, 10,000 mile cross-country road trip in a 60-foot long Seinfeld branded, bio-diesel fueled bus designed to integrate the show directly into the digital, on-the-move, multi-tasking lifestyle of college students and members of the 70 million plus millennial demographic.



Wait a minute. What?

You can't just open with a sentence generated by the Zeitgeist-O-Mat 2000 like that. You should spread out your meaningless buzzwords over the course of a whole paragraph–a "multi-tasking" here, a "millennial" there–not just ram them all together in a statement that would take 20 minutes just to parse.

So, if I can wade through all the thick, mucky buzzwords, here's what I get: there's a bio-diesel Seinfeld bus going around to college campuses to raise Seinfeld awareness among the youths? I like Seinfeld, but my original question stands: What? I'd also like to add: "Why?" and "Does Larry David know about this?"

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With games, prizes, Seinfeld-inspired snacks (Junior Mints, anyone?), a traveling museum of priceless Seinfeld memorabilia and a larger-than-life "Seinfeld Experience" bus, this is one spectacle you will not want to miss!…During this pioneering cross-country tour, the Seinfeld experience will target the 70 million-strong millennial generation, distributing over 1,000 pounds of black & white cookies, Snickers and Twix in a three month period.



That is a lot of sweets to pass out in a three-month period, I guess. But, then again, I don't know if anyone has ever loaded a bus with candy to distribute to our nation's college students in the name of a popular syndicated TV show before, so the Seinfeld Campus tour would probably be setting that bar no matter how long it took them to pass out any amount of candy.

Also, are Junior Mints the "priceless memorabilia," because I could definitely put a price on those. Let's say $2.00 a box, $5.50 at movie theaters.

Bus Interior:

* A mini-museum of such Seinfeld treasures as original costumes and props from iconic episodes, an original script, and an Emmy® Award

* TV screens displaying a presentation featuring the most iconic moments from the show

* A "Scene It? Lounge" featuring two TVs where consumers can sample the DVD game debuting nationwide this fall

* Bins of Seinfeld foods such as Twix, Snapple, black & white cookies, Snickers and Diet Dr. Pepper

* A Kramer's Yogurt Bar featuring non-fat frozen yogurt

* Three laptops to explore Seinfeld MySpace, Seinfeld Facebook and the Seinfeld web site which links to the TOUR and all STATION sites

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The idea of an Emmy riding around in a promotional tour bus from college to college makes me both sad and angry (aka sangry. Portmanteau alert!). Also, Kramer's Yogurt Bars exist? Are they in the shape of his hair or something?

Still, a Seinfeld MySpace, Facebook, and web site? Millennials love MySpace, Facebook, and websites! But you should probably pack up the laptops and use that space for a vintage Today sponge display or something. The mere presence of computers isn't a big draw for college students, though all the free food definitely is.

Bus Exterior

* A "video testimonial booth" where attendees can shoot their own user-generated content, such as character impressions, favorite Seinfeld episodes and real-life Seinfeld moments.

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* 60 foot-long, bio-diesel fueled bus

* The Monk's Diner Plate Toss where attendees throw a Seinfeld frisbee through slots in the wall to win prizes

* The Marine Biologist Hole-in-One where attendees attempt to putt a golf ball into the whale's blowhole to win a SONY digital camera

The bus itself is one of the features of the bus? Normally a detail like that wouldn't merit mention, but fine.

Despite the fact that its origins are unclear and its purpose doesn't make any sense, The Seinfeld Campus Tour shouldn't have a problem attracting college kids. After all, they'll sign up for a high-interest credit card just to get a free t-shirt, so getting a bunch of them to putt a golf ball into a fake whale in the name of Seinfeld awareness (and to win a free camera) shouldn't be hard. Seinfeld: never forget!

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