Politically inclined country music has come a long—and not necessarily better—way in the years since Loretta Lynn sang about “The Pill” in 1975, with guys like Toby Keith extolling the virtues of boot-up-your-ass diplomacy to hordes of cheering fans (and the occasional inaugural crowd). Say what you like about Keith and his ilk, though: At least they have a little passion when they’re preaching to their respective choirs. That’s more than we can say for the weak, confusing tea being served up this week by country singer Neal McCoy, during a recent show in Branson, MO.
McCoy is apparently just a-stompin’ and a-hollerin’ mad about Colin Kaepernick and the NFL protests right now, to the point that he even dared to deploy what he insisted on calling “a bad word” in front of his fans at a recent show. After several minutes of what apparently passes for hot stage banter in Branson (reading glasses are involved), McCoy busted out his new patriotic anthem, the bewilderingly titled, “Take A Knee, My Ass (I Won’t Take A Knee),” a song that not only manages to rhyme “Valley Forge and Vietnam” with “9/11 and Afghanistan,” but also sounds, to the casual listener, like McCoy is ordering his own buttocks to drop to the ground and pay their ass-y respects.
The internet took very little time to render McCoy’s overly earnest efforts—which, to be fair, are perfectly in-line with the fact that he’s now posted 680 consecutive videos of himself saying The Pledge Of Allegiance onto social media over the last two years—into fresh, life-restoring memes. As always, the Wikipedia vandals are leading the charge; here’s what McCoy’s page looked like while we were writing this piece: