Rejoice (in a socially awkward manner) at the return of a Good Wife favorite 

Eastbound & Down (HBO, 10 p.m.): Kenny’s getting involved in dragon-boat racing, a badass display of strength, endurance, and teamwork that is no doubt less badass than what Kenny Powers first imagined when he heard the words “dragon boats.” Scott Von Doviak is afraid of what will happen if the character learns that dragonfruit isn’t harvested by actual dragons.

Masters Of Sex (Showtime, 10 p.m.): Masters and Johnson search the student body to find new participants in their research, and Sonia Saraiya assures us that this is not the first sign of Masters Of Sex turning into a bawdy campus comedy called Sex Study. Though “search the student body” wouldn’t be a bad tagline for such a film.

Hello Ladies (HBO, 10:30 p.m.): Monocles will shatter and pearls are sure to be clutched when Stuart accompanies Jessica to a fancy Hollywood dinner party. Molly Eichel finds it terribly ironic, since it’s usually Americans causing the British to react in that manner, not the other way around.

Saturday Night Live (Classic) (1 p.m.): SNL’s deadly “If it works once, it’ll work 10 more times” habit begins to form in a pair of nevertheless hilarious episodes hosted by returning hosts Buck Henry and Elliott Gould. Phil Dyess-Nugent is just bummed the show never put up another take on “The Last Voyage Of The Starship Enterprise.”

The Simpsons (Classic) (3 p.m.): While David Sims looks back at “Two Dozen And One Greyhounds,” he wants you to see his vest, see his vest. Nothing sinister about its origin—he just really likes the vest.

Guy’s Grocery Games (Food Network, 8 p.m.): Guy Fieri is to haute cuisine what Chuck Woolery once was to romantic relationships, so it’s only fitting that the human jalapeño popper’s newest Food Network venture finds him playing game-show host.

Toy Hunter (Travel Channel, 8 p.m.): Getting into the spirit of the season, Toy Hunter undertakes a Halloween quest to find monster movie memorabilia for Metallica’s Kirk Hammett. Might we suggest raiding the vaults of Full Moon Features in order to make Hammett the master (MASTER!) of Puppetmaster props?

Queer Eye (Bravo, 9 p.m.): A cultural touchstone (and the model for a new Bravo that was irreparably warped by Real Housewives) gets a well deserved 10th anniversary retrospective. Well deserved so long as it didn’t disrupt the Chopped production schedule, that is.

When Ghosts Attack (Destination America, 10 p.m.): Shorter When Ghosts Attack: “Never, because ghosts don’t attack—or even exist—unless you’re a paranormal psychologist with an unlicensed nuclear accelerator strapped to their back.”

Monsters, Inc. (ABC Family, 4:30 p.m.): Pixar’s crowning achievement—with the possible exception of The Incredibles. Though, those first, dialogue-free 40 minutes of WALL-E are pretty impressive, too. And the studio deserves all the kudos in the world for maintaining a standard of quality across all three installments in the Toy Story series. And then there’s Ratatouille… okay, so we can certainly, without a doubt say Monsters, Inc. is better than both Cars movies.

Gladiator (TNT, 8 p.m.): Are you not entertained? Are you not entertained? Then perhaps Russell Crowe playing a combatant in the Roman Colosseum isn’t your cup of tea.

Sunday Night Football: Broncos at Colts (NBC, 8:20 p.m.): When Denver and Indianapolis meet on the gridiron, is it referred to as The Horsey Bowl? If not, let’s start referring to this AFC matchup as thus, especially if the Colts manage to knock former QB Peyton Manning off his game and bring the Broncos undefeated streak to a halt.

Comedy Bang! Bang!: The show returns for the back half of its second season, bringing with it Andy Daly’s cowboy poet Dalton Wilcox. After you read his review, David Sims will be in the lobby while Wilcox signs copies of his book You Must Buy Your Wife At Least As Much Jewelry As You Buy Your Horse, And Other Poems And Observations, Humorous And Otherwise, From A Life On The Range.