In our ever-expanding age of monopoly, in which America’s wealthiest are consolidating mass communication to appease the country’s sundowning racist grandpa, we have to take our wins where we can. After all, Bari Weiss could be in charge of CNN very soon. So it is with the slightest bit of enjoyment that we report that Paramount has accused Warner Bros. Discovery of playing favorites in the latest bidding war for one of Hollywood’s few remaining movie studios. Per CNBC, Paramount-Skydance attorneys have sent a letter to WBD CEO David Zaslav, accusing his company of running “a tilted and unfair process” that favors Netflix. That’s ironic, considering that Matt Stone and Trey Parker accused the Paramount side of similar tactics during South Park‘s billion-dollar negotiations. In love and business, turnabout is fair play.
Paramount’s letter, which CNBC published in full, bases the accusations on media reports, including a meeting in Germany about the E.U.’s desire to “preserve media diversity,” which Paramount believes amounts to “active sabotage” of Paramount’s offer. Other reports emphasize “the enthusiasm by WBD management for a transaction with Netflix,” calling it a “‘slam dunk,’ while also referring to Paramount in a negative light.” Nothing stings the wealthiest people on Earth quite like discovering no one likes hanging out with you. So to avoid negotiating with a side that thinks Paramount is stinky poo-poo, Paramount calls for an independent committee.
“In light of our grave concerns regarding the integrity of WBD’s process, we seek confirmation as to whether WBD has appointed an independent special committee of disinterested members of its board to consider the potential transaction opportunities and to make a final determination regarding a sale or break-up of all or part of the company.”
Warner Bros. Discovery denied the allegations through its attorneys, stating, “The WBD Board attends to its fiduciary obligations with the utmost care, and that they have fully and robustly complied with them and will continue to do so.” Nevertheless, David Ellison’s camp appears convinced that WBD favors Netflix, which is only bidding to acquire WBD’s studio and streaming assets. Paramount, meanwhile, wants to take it all: Warner Bros. studio, HBO and HBO Max, and WBD’s cable companies, TNT, TBS, HGTV, Food Network, and CNN. But anyway we slice it, either Netflix or Paramount buying WBD would be a detriment to the media ecosystem, especially if CNN goes the way of CBS. We don’t even have a governing body concerned with “preserving media diversity.” All in all, the WBD sale is another Alien vs. Predator situation for the United States: Whoever wins, we lose.
