[This article contains spoilers for tonight’s installment of The Masked Singer]
We’re already firmly on the record that few of The Masked Singer’s many expeditions to the Uncanny Valley have been more profitably unpleasant than whichever one produced the “Baby” costume that appears on the Fox show’s currently running sixth season. Giant-headed, giant-handed, giant-creepy-crawly to look at, Baby has stood out as a deeply unsettling visual even in the usual crowd of monsters, dogs, fish, and other creatures the show uses to keep us from looking at all the singing famouses, like we want.
Good news tonight, then, as the Baby is now officially dead, its ginormous skull having been rent from its awful shoulders to reveal…well, the still fairly plus-sized noggin of Larry The Cable Guy. (Himself a not that much less horrifying costume that comedian Dan Whitney has now been trapped in for more than 20 years at this point.) Somewhat hilariously, that means that two of the 85 Grammy nominations that the show has asserted this year’s crop of contestants have accrued over their careers are for The Right To Bare Arms and Blue Collar Comedy: One For The Road. This also creates a universe in which Larry The Cable Guy was able to last in a singing competition longer than Toni Braxton, which is the sort of information we’d probably put on an elaborate costume to get away from—were we Toni Braxton.
Hey, real quick, though: Put this in your brains. We don’t want to be alone with it.
Among other things, Whitney noted after his un-making that he’d co-starred in a film, 2009's Witless Protection, with Masked Singer judge/public health advisor Jenny McCarthy, highlighting the fact that she hadn’t been able to detect him belting out the soothing strains of Barry White and doing the awful baby talk and, god, this one’s going to haunt us for a while.
The Masked Singer airs Wednesday nights on Fox, with select clips running on eternal screaming loops from now until the day we finally, blessedly, expire.