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The president’s throat is dry

Photo: Mark Wilson/Getty Images

Yesterday, while making a very important speech that has huge implications for the future of the Middle East, Donald Trump weirdly slurred his speech as he tried to say “United States”—the two words a president should be particularly good at saying. Everybody had a good laugh, because Trump is bad at literally everything, but some people theorized that the issue had less to do with Trump being a failure and more to do with him probably wearing dentures that had come loose. It seemed believable, both because he’s 71 years old and because it’d be hard to blame dentures for wanting to escape that rotten maw in the middle of his face, but now the White House has shot that theory down.

Speaking with the press, White House spokesperson Raj Shah (via The Los Angeles Times) explained that Trump’s “throat was dry” and that “there’s nothing to it” beyond that. Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders also addressed Trump’s inability to say “United States” during a briefing today (via Deadline), and in addition to also pushing the “dry throat” story, she revealed that Trump has scheduled a physical for early next year—the results of which will supposedly be made public.


We’ll believe that when it actually happens (and even then we probably won’t believe it), but it seems a little strange that Trump’s dry throat is so severe that he was unable to say “United States” during a very important speech, and yet he’s not seeing a doctor until early next year. We all know he’s not that busy, but maybe he just doesn’t want some doctor to interrupt his constant golf vacations.

Of course, Trump’s dry throat also could have been helped with a refreshing drink of water, but he’s not even good at doing that.

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