Thomas Haden Church to play the bad guy in Peacock's bizarre Twisted Metal show

Neither of which, apparently, will be the character played by Church, who will instead be stepping into the driver’s seat as the villainous Agent Stone, “a cold and unyielding post-apocalyptic highway patrolman who rules the roads with a silver tongue and a twisted iron fist, prosecuting even the smallest crimes with the harshest of judgements.” (There is an Agent Stone in the Twisted Metal games, by the by, but he’s a James Bond riff from the first game; we cannot believe that Peacock is playing so fast and loose with the celebrated TM canon!)

Church most recently popped up in front of audiences in Spider-Man: No Way Home, reprising his role as the semi-villainous Sandman from Spider-Man 3. Other recent credits include a starring role on HBO’s Divorce opposite Sarah Jessica Parker and an appearance in the Hellboy remake from a few years back.

Twisted Metal is being described by Peacock as an action comedy; Will Arnett and Marc Forman, fresh off their improvised Netflix series Murderville, are producing the show. The show will star Mackie as “John Doe,” an amnesiac post-apocalyptic milkman, who teams up with Beatriz as a “badass car thief” named Quiet to navigate the blasted world. At some point, they’ll probably also cast someone as the game series’ mascot, Sweet Tooth, an Ed Gein-style murder clown whose head is always on fire.

In other news, video games continue to be, really, just the coolest.