When you think about parallel universes, which you often do on Monday mornings while perusing the Internet, many questions pop into your head: What is society like in parallel universes? Are the people and countries different? And, most importantly, does The Daily Show exist in other universes and, if so, what's it like? Here, The Daily Show airs on Comedy Central and provides a reliably sharp skewering of the daily news under the watchful gaze of Jon Stewart. But in a parallel universe The Daily Show could be completely different: it could be a tedious, over-long exercise in weak satire that airs on CNN and is hosted by DL Hughley–because in many parallel universes DL Hughley is given an infinite number of chances to prove himself funny on television. It could include many groan-inducing joke factoids like, "Sarah Palin isn't the first woman to be nominated for Vice President. The first was Senator Joe Leiberman in 2000," and at least one interview with a pun.
Of course, with the premiere of DL Hughley Breaks The News on CNN this past weekend, you no longer have to wonder what an unfunny, parallel-univerise, CNN version of The Daily Show would be like. Unfortunately, it's already here in this one:
See, it's funny because "Freddie Mac" sounds like "Mack," and a mack is like a pimp, and so he's a pimp but also a federal home loan mortgage corporation. Get it? Well, just in case you didn't, immediately following Hughley's interview with a pun, he interviewed an actual, non-joke person about the financial crisis. Hilarious! And then the show went on for another unbearable 40 minutes.
I know that CNN has 24 hours of airtime a day to kill, but giving DL Hughley one hour a week is almost cruel. There are only so many interviewable puns and joke factoids that can be extracted from the sludge underneath the humor barrel. How can he be expected to fill up 60 whole minutes a week? By the second episode he'll already be talking to a six-pack of Joe beer and swing dancers in Pennsylvania. Stop it now, CNN, while we still can.