Tonight is the night that everyone has been waiting for. I'm talking, of course, about Fashion Rocks, the collision of fashion designers and musical acts and CBS and Vogue and Elton John that tries to demonstrate to the public the various ways in which fashion rocks. It might also be some kind of awards show. Honestly, I have no idea what it is. I just spent 10 minutes on their website, and I couldn't find a satisfactory answer to the question "What is this?". But I did learn that there is an all-out war in the music industry between Jeans and Leather. What I do know for sure is that Fashion Rocks has been described as an evening "curated" by Elton John––so someone is taking something seriously, and evidently that word isn't just for museums and reading series anymore. But the good news is that the show was taped last night, so answers are slowly emerging––mostly in the form of photographs. So, in what ways, exactly, does fashion rock? Evidently fashion rocks with winged lapels and gold onesies for adults!

Also fashion rocks with sparkly banana peels.

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But the most important way that fashion rocks is with clothes stolen from the locker room at

Scores.

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Now you know.