We’ve all had times, perhaps lying on a blanket on a clear summer night, when the thought of destroying the moon has crossed our minds. As human beings, it’s important for us to consider the annihilation of everything in our natural world. Is there anything more tempting than that wondrous orb, gloating over all of us by hanging just out of reach in the night sky?
Some important information up front: We don’t currently possess weaponry sufficient for this considerable task. Taking the unfortunately realistic viewpoint that it shouldn’t be long until humanity finds a solution to this particular problem, though, we must also look at the drawbacks of getting this job done.
As gosh-damn bleeding-heart liberals may have assumed, the moon’s destruction would have terrible consequences, ranging from lessened tides, the removal of our nearest base camp for galactic exploration, and, uh, our planet tilting into a new position that upends our geographic stability over time.
On the plus side? Moon fragments could give Earth a lovely new ring, and stars would be even more visible in the night sky without that ancient diva hogging the spotlight. Also, none of the biggest drawbacks from destroying the moon would even be immediately noticeable. Instead, the ramifications would likely take centuries to fully become apparent.
That being the case, it’s clear that we should get to work. With only minor downsides, it’s obvious that blowing up the moon is something well worth doing. Not only would doing so mark a huge new accomplishment for our idiot species to celebrate, but the old saying “shoot for the moon” would take on a new, more literal meaning. It’s hard to imagine any nobler goals.