“Scientifically Accurate Barney” is much less cloying, still quite educational

The tireless destroyers of childhood whimsy at Fox ADHD, who already did their best to ruin Chip ‘n Dale Rescue Rangers with scientific accuracy, have now turned their gimlet eyes toward Barney & Friends. That long-running and much-mocked PBS children’s series, which stubbornly persists in reruns several years after airing its final episode, depicts a gregarious, helpful Tyrannosaurus Rex who routinely interacts with (and ostensibly educates) a group of very young children in a schoolroom setting. In reality, however, a dinosaur of this species would make an exceptionally poor elementary school teacher, a point handily illustrated by “Scientifically Accurate Barney.” This brief but potent animated video retains the “Yankee Doodle”-derived melody of Barney & Friends’ original theme song but adds entirely new, considerably less optimistic lyrics, with graphic and gory visuals to match. Instead of being a gentle, cuddly, and basically human-sized prehistoric plaything, this Barney is depicted as a soulless, 40-foot-tall mauve killing machine who devours children without a shred of conscience.