With an executive branch in a constant state of chaos and a legislative branch that doesn’t seem capable of doing much of anything, it can sometimes feel like the federal government is failing the American public. But thanks to the fact-finding efforts of a handy Twitter bot, we now know the hardworking people in Congress are focusing their energy on the truly important things: Porgs and lightsabers.
Recently, Congress Edits, a bot that catalogues anytime a Wikipedia page is edited from an Congressional IP address, posted two Star Wars-related edits coming from an anonymous source on Capitol Hill. The first edit was made to the no doubt highly trafficked Wikipedia page “List of Star Wars species (P-T),” which recently became the home for the entry on Porgs, those penguin/otter aliens from The Last Jedi that the internet has already fallen in love with and/or wants to kill. Apparently, someone in Congress believed it was essential that Wikipedia readers know “Porgs are dope,” but, due to the questionably factual nature of this claim, it was promptly removed by another editor.
The second, much more detailed edit was made to the article on lightsabers and involved only slightly less editorializing. “The color of the blade has no bearing on whether or not the wielder is ideologically good or evil, nor does lightsaber blade infer the wielder’s gender,” wrote the Congressional nerd with a lot of time on their hands. However, if they wanted this edit to stand up to criticism, they should have included some sources from the Expanded Universe, as it’s since been removed.
Because these edits could have come from any computer in Congress, it’s unclear if they were made by a senator or junior representative or just some lowly Congressional aide on their lunch break. But we can all agree that this is exactly the kind of stuff our politicians should be focusing on and not the fact that our democracy is crumbling around us. Hopefully they’ll find time in their busy schedules to finally give Malakili the Rancor Keeper his own article.