Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

What Is Justin Timberlake's Crime?

Justin Timberlake named his clothing line, William Rast, after his grandfather William, which besides being a great way to pass blame, is also really, really sweet. So how does Justin honor his relative? Through expensive embellished denim and an online promotional movie featuring Timberlake and some model as a modern-day Bonnie & Clyde (because outlaws today would definitely be spending $220 on white jeans):



Why is this happening? Well, apparently it took a lot of convincing to coax publicity-shy Justin from the shadows and onto the Internet promo movie screen:

"We came up with this idea for him to play a role as this guy named William Rast," [creative director] Johan Lindeberg said. "So it isn't meant to be Justin, it's Justin playing a role, as an actor. When we explained the idea, he instantly loved it and got really into building the profile of this character."

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It's always a good sign when you have to explain acting to someone. "It's like pretend, Justin," you can hear the execs coddling. "Like fun dress up. Please? These ugly jeans aren't going to sell themselves!"

Right now, the "trailers" for this "movie" about "William Rast" only allude to the crime that Justin and the model committed. So, what did Justin do that was so bad he was forced to become an outlaw with a video camera? Here are a few suggestions:

—Shoplifting $5000 worth of merchandise (aka three pairs of bleached jeans) from the William Rast store. No one should have to pay that much for that stuff, right William/Justin?

—Wearing a leather jacket without a shirt. Someone call the fashion police. Zing!

—Triple homicide. (A dark turn for Justin, but whatever. The darker the crime the more glamorous!)

—Misappropriation of funds. Finally, someone can make white-collar crime sexy.

—Copyright infringement. Do criminals have copyrights? If so, the ghosts of Bonnie & Clyde or Charles Starkweather should all sue.

—Riding a bicycle without a helmet. So dangerous.

—Murder/Suicide. (Fingers crossed!)

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