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Sensing someone, somewhere, saying something mean about his daddy, Donald Trump Jr. leapt into the online fray this week, defending his sweet papa from accusations of being insufficiently “alpha”. Trump’s Daddy Sense was activated by a recent New York Times interview with actor Jon Hamm, who described a brief interaction he had with the now-president at an SNL after-party back in 2015, in which Trump and his buddy Bill O’Reilly apparently tried to play some tall-guy dominance games bullshit with the Mad Men star.

“They’re both tall dudes,” said Hamm, who noted that the party took place after Trump’s SNL hosting gig in November 2015. “And I’m a tall dude. And they both do that tall-dude thing, which is try to intimidate you. And it doesn’t work on me. I’m like, ‘I’m as alpha as you. Let’s go. You’re not going to chest-bump me.’ It was a very weird night. It was the shortest I’ve ever stayed at an SNL after-party.”


Incensed at the idea that anybody could out-pee his pop pop in a pissing match, Donald Jr. responded to Hamm’s account with a suggestion that true alphas never talk themselves up, at length, until people finally just give in and make them president.

This isn’t the first time the Trump boys have declared where their poppums falls on the Greek alphabet of performative masculinity. Last year, after Trump’s Access Hollywood tapes—the ones in which he expressed his perceived right to the bodies of any woman unlucky to fall within the reach of his tiny, sausage-shaped fingers—came to light, Eric Trump wrote it off as the way “alpha personalities” express themselves when they get together

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