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Schools are banning Squid Game Halloween costumes and its playground games from playgrounds

Protect the children from playing with marbles and having tug-of-war competitions

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All green track jackets are eternally banned from schools for the childrens’ safety.
All green track jackets are eternally banned from schools for the childrens’ safety.
Screenshot: Netflix

Squid Game, the Netflix show that dramatizes the horrors of both capitalist society and failing to employ proper tug-of-war strategy, is enormously popular. And with that popularity has come the inevitable moral panic, this time centered on the fact that kids are playing non-deadly versions of its deadly playground games and trying to wear green tracksuits as Halloween costumes.

The Washington Post reports that “principals at three New York elementary schools outside Syracuse” are sufficiently freaked out by kids “mimicking the violent series at recess” that they’re they’re banning these kids games from being played by kids and “telling parents that Halloween ensembles paying homage to the show won’t be allowed on school grounds.”

The statement sent out to parents says that “due to concerns about the potential violent nature of the [Squid Game-inspired] game” kids have been playing, the show and its playground amusements are “inappropriate for recess play or discussion at school.”

Parents were also told “that it would be inappropriate for any student to wear to school a Halloween costume from this show.” This is terrible news for kids who have saved up their allowance to buy jeweled animal heads and prised the buttons off their PlayStation controllers so they can stick them onto fencing masks.

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On one hand, this statement makes sense since children really shouldn’t be watching Squid Game but, on the other, banning kids from playing tug-of-war, marbles, and red light, green light because kids somehow managed to watch nine episodes of a Korean television show is pretty hilarious. We didn’t know kids were into subtitles—reading truly is fun-damental. Still, kids probably shouldn’t be adding violent elements to these games. Also, making sure that no child gets to enjoy the simple comforts and enormous sartorial benefits of walking around in a tracksuit and slip-ons is just plain cruel, Halloween or not.

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